Stop Waiting
stardeer like candy
inspired by Amanda before I knew her

I have eaten God
there is nothing else to do
for now that she is inside me
I am afraid

she burned with long half-braided hair
and pink glasses
made me think she was French
she danced in front of me
someone passed between us
in a mere second
a shadow
she disappeared

ethereal and lithe like silver
I scream and scream in my head
because I worry I am old and lost
I forget secrets, I misremember the breath
the wide sliding void of universes
the one hundred breasts
the laughing goddess with twelve arms

beware, sweet child
the fear that hungers
it is a trick

tear your eyes away
or you will die
if you look to see your fear
it will be there

butterflies burn with sage
angels entwine with snakes
gasps of fogged glass
secret scribbles
love in the cold air
love with arms outstretched

spinning, spinning
whereto now
how does everything become
is she God
am I

nothing but the mad jig
the unbound dance
a sweet OM

wonder blazes as her eyes laugh
boredom becomes a lie
forever stretches timeless
I sit and take a breath
hug myself
hear the jester riddle
painfully complex
utterly simple truths
stop waiting.

July 31, 2001

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