Well, last night I was finally able to experience an entheogenic combination
that I had been yearning to try for quite some time: 2C-B and Ketamine. I
had very high hopes for this session, and I was not in any way disappointed.
If anything, the experience exceeded my expectations in every way, allowing
me one of the most intense journeys yet in my career as a psychonaut...
One of the reasons that I had such a strong interest in trying this
is because I had read that 2C-B can strongly enhance recall of the Ketamine experience.
On a K-only trip, I normally have very little memory of the
fine details of the journey. I usually am left with only the vaguest impressions
of what happens once the process of dissolution of my individual identity
and merging with the one is complete, as if there is not enough of "me" left
to retain the specifics of the experience from that point on. This can be
rather frustrating...having a sense that one has been through an experience
of cosmic proportions but not recalling what actually transpired. I found
that pre-dosing with 2C-B allowed me to retain just enough of my
individuality to enable me to bring much more back out of the K-hole.
So last night I took 25 mg of 2C-B orally. 90 minutes later, as I felt
effects begin to manifest, I gave myself an intramuscular injection of 100
mg Ketamine. I lay down, and within two or three minutes the now
familiar onset of the K overtook me; a loud ringing in my ears, followed by
a narrowing/contraction of my reality tunnel until the outside world
and my physical body were utterly gone. Then, instead of the usual
complete merge with pure consciousness, I found myself as a bodiless point
of awareness and energy floating in the midst of what seemed to be a
vast vaulted chamber. There was a sense of presence all around, as though I
was surrounded by millions of others, although no one else could be seen.
In the center of the chamber was a huge, pulsing, krishna-blue mass of
seething energy that was shaped in a geometric, mandalic form. I had the
sense that I had somehow stumbled into the blast furnace at the heart of
the cosmos, the engine that drives the process of creating manifest reality
out of the thoughts of the mind of god. It was pulsing at a steady pace,
and emitting sound vibrations (which sounded remarkably like chanted
"om's") as it pulsed that instantly crossed a synesthetic line from
something heard to an object beheld, much like McKenna's descriptions
of the language of the elves he encounters in DMT space. I felt as if I was
seeing the truths that thought creates manifest form and that matter is really
a sonic vibration being demonstrated before my very eyes. It was kind of like
a cosmic assembly line that was constantly churning out the alternate
universes that some physicists theorize about in which every
conceivable possibility becomess an actual reality. I even had brief flashes
in which I experienced some of these alternate realities as they sprouted
forth out of this cosmic womb -- flying over mountain peaks in a landscape
that did not seem earthly, quick glimpses into what felt like other
incarnations, other lives I could have led, darting journeys through seas
of pure information.
Then suddenly, I was back in my body, lying on my bed. "Wow," I thought,
"it's over. How abrupt!" I tried to sit up. Suddenly my body was gone again
and the room dissolved into the blackness of the void, my reality being
quickly pulled out from underneath my feet like a hyperspatial magician's
tablecloth trick. This process repeated itself several times, much like the
classic dream in which one keeps thinking they have awoken, only to
find themselves in yet another dreamscape. This process was actually a
little scary, as I had some fear of never making it back to consensus reality,
my body lying in a hospital in a vegetative state as my consciousness stayed
stuck in a weird, repeating loop.
Eventually I woke back into a familiar reality that didn't dissolve
from under me. I looked at the clock. Forty-five minutes had passed since I
had given myself the injection. For the next hour or so I struggled with
the sluggishness and reduced physical control that is typical of the
Ketamine after-phase. This, however, seemed a small price to pay for what
I had just experienced. Thankfully, the motion-associated nausea that
is sometimes a part of this stage for me was not present.
Today I feel somewhat drained of energy; spiritually exhausted, as it
feel as though I was able to sneak past a cosmic barrier and witness
something that we as indivdual entities aren't meant to know in this phase
of our existence. It feels like my mind has been stretched almost beyond
its capacity to hold more information than it was designed to contain. Yet it
also feels good; like I'm entering a new phase of my understanding of the
inner workings of the universe. I feel as though I'll need some time to
process and integrate what I've learned before I go back for more. I think
I'm starting to ramble, so I guess I'll wrap this up and go meditate for a
while. Thanks for listening...
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