I know the words are mostly stream of conciousness, but it gets
closest at what happened, since things are both linear and not, and
time is meaningless in that space.
the best part of it all was the feeling of being 'home' or the
complete trust & calm.
that was beautiful. and there was a sense of knowing a part
everything, for a while. that feeling still is with me, even if I
don't automatically know.
New Year's Eve, 1997 into 1998
(Note: I was nervous, I could feel my heart beating, Kiri could,
I relaxed for a while, Kiri and I stayed in Gingko's room
together. Then when I was ready Trey came in and prepared the magic
crystals and Gingko came too, just them and Kiri because I know their
energy so well. I was ready.)
[Technical note: 50 mg. of crystalline NN DMT was vaporized & inhaled by the author in four large tokes.]
swirling rainbows melting into heaven calm
kiri nearness, hearing her think love, be love
little kittens appear, so real, seagull kittens, meowing,
the spaces open -- this is like my own mind and feels like home.
breath so pure, the dmt familiar consciousness, like there is no
transition, except I am more calm, relaxed, open. i can feel myself
in a trance and my eyes rapidly moving beneath their lids. dmt has a
strange taste but it is so pure to breathe, like air... i don't even
think about coughing or anything of that sort.
smooth out -- silver coming
silvergirl and the pool
green transform -- green sensuality
pop - pop
green alien elves dancing
everyone dancing dervish-like, maybe at a rave, their hands in the
and the way forming above their heads, the tunnel in.
"trust this," she says.
the plastic frog is alive and hops from the bed to my knee.
the blue pulsating balls...
they are only visible for a second, but they say,
don't be astonished...
the crack in the stone
green light slipping from it...
the crack is where the edges of the stone doors meet.
they are partly open, but for some reason will not open more.
this seems important!
i try to open the door
do I have enough dmtbreath? or rather,
do I have enough me?
pull at the door.
green light scatters.
i want to look inside.
green light spills.
stairways, green glowing, rising into something.
greencatgirl. she purrs. she is liquid and sexual and she
with wet green. more purr. her fur falls in a tumble from her head
and neck and the center of her back. smooth green skin everywhere
the voices laugh.
i am there.
the towers loom.
the edge where the cataract pours into never.
rainbows gleaming from the spray. unicorn girl is here.
kiri. maia. she laughs in the best way.
"trust them," someone says.
yes. I know.
and it expands.
and then I am back.
it is like i have not gone anywhere. but suddenly I know something
didn't know. just a sweet dmtbreath. there are no words. but there
is a kind of language. i try to talk, and nothing comes out.
exactly. I smile and laugh.
(Note: I had expected a rocket-ship launchoff into consciousness
elfland... but the transition was so smooth it was like I was always
there...that surprised me, and I almost gave way to astonishment. but then I remembered to look, see the vision colors coming my way. My words above are really just a skeleton of what I experienced. I will try to write more. But maybe written language won't touch it. At least not yet.)
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