The following report of a highly alarming experience is excerpted from
early experiment utilizing approximately 1.7 mg. of salvinorin. The subject
was highly experienced in the use of other psychedelics and gave the
following preface to his report.
The visual experience was as if the world, including my body and all
saw, had become flat, two-dimensional, and was a sheet, or a thin rubber
skin, a layer. As the pulling forward and out was taking place, the colored
forms of what I saw were smeared, as if a running palette of colors,
pulled, stretched, thinned. I pulled back, wondering if I could pull away
from this tearing of the world. 'It's time to go now.' My body and the world as I knew it, was being pulled into the black universe, stars studding the space, while the outline of this man was covered with the "being pulled", "smeared" reality, of which I was an integral part.
I was stunned, frightened, disbelieving. I think it hurt, but even more
painful was the idea that 'this was it.' My mind began trying to sort out
what had happened. I saw my wife, (who had not smoked any salvinorin) I was in our room, on the bed. I was looking at my arms, my legs, and they were being pulled like rubber cement into the surface of the world as it was disappearing, moving forward into the brown material of his pant leg. 'Is this all the world is? Part of some big man's pant leg? Its just too
bizarre.' But it was happening. 'It's time to go now.' Almost with some
impatience, as if I were so muddled as to not know that this was the end,
the end of this reality, gone. going, being rent, stretched, pulled into
another very small and insignificant part of something so big it was incomprehensible. It did not seem right. I tried saying 'I can't believe this is happening to me. This is too weird. Is this how it ends? A pant leg, being ripped out and forward. I had no warning, this is not what I expected.' I was completely convinced that this was taking place. But the right half of my mouth was not there to properly form the words. My wife later said that I was speaking gibberish, but there was a sense of wondered revelation to my tone. She said I looked relatively normal when I opened my eyes, no enlarged dilated pupils. But she knew, when she heard me, that I was far gone.
"I looked at my wife. She, too, was being pulled up and out, the right
of her body streaming into the movement forward. I thought it was happening to her, but she was more concerned about how I was reacting than for her own demise. I thought of the person who had given me the substance, that this was something he knew, and that my taking this substance was the trigger for the end of the universe, space, time, all history, all people and things, and feelings and thoughts, all flattened and streaming forward, into a smeared palette of colors. My wife later told me I was staring in disbelief around me and at my body and saying 'It's smeared, it's smearing. It's the universe. We are moving into the universe, it's ending.' I looked carefully at my left forearm and hand. I saw the transition between my flesh, and tiny bubbles of color, streaming upward and outward into the pulling canvas of matter. My legs were doing the same thing, as was the entire room. 'It's time to go now!'
The sense continued, hammering. I felt, but did not think, 'No, I'm
ready. There is so much undone, unfelt, unsaid.' I felt I should have been
better warned or prepared. I thought of the Buddha, my patron saint, and
the teachings he promulgated. There was nothing in them that was even close to the enormity of what I was experiencing. Did he know about this? Was he and all his teaching, the life of thousands of years of followers of his and other religions ending as a thin two-dimensional sheet? It seemed so trivial compared to how it was ending. I wondered about the plant from which this material was derived. Is this the reason for the plant's
existence To mediate the ending of the universe?
"To one of my requests for reassurance my wife said it's happening.
lay back in bed.' I'd been twisting and turning, trying to move away from
the dissolving edge. I said to my wife 'If this is how it ends, I ought to
just relax. I will miss you, I'm glad we met. Please lay by my side so we
can go out together.' She lay down next to me and I kissed her forehead.
She then lay across my chest. enveloping me with her body. I felt her love, and felt we were ending together. I felt us both merging with the edges of
the end, and felt my body merging more fully with the sheet of reality that
we were becoming.
"Some moments later I opened my eyes again. and felt the ripping and
pulling diminishing. I looked up and saw that the ceiling was beginning to congeal around a well-demarcated line. I looked at my left hand and saw
there was an irregular line, curving in the same pattern as that of the
ceiling. My hand was slowly filling in with substance again. I used all my
strength to roll onto my left side. away from the force that had been
sucking and stretching everything forward. I sat up next to it, and could
see the outline of the force in the air. I said to my wife 'It's less, its
over. I need to get out of here.' I was afraid it would start up again and
felt if I was not in the room 1 could escape it. I said 'I'm down, I'm not
tripping anymore, I'm fine. I just need to get out of here fast.' I went to
the door leading outside. My truck was outside. a vehicle I'd had for 12
years. I wanted to look at it to verify its solidity and see how it was
faring. My wife later said I was crouched and moving extremely rapidly. and appeared psychotic. The deadbolt was locked, and for a second I thought, its because there's no way to escape the ending. I then remembered my wife had locked the deadbolt and went to the dresser where the keys are usually kept. but was unable to find them. On my way to the other door my wife managed to get me back in the bed.
"The experience continued to subside. The colors were no longer coming
off my body. I sat on the bed staring at my extremities, shaken, disturbed,
completely baffled, upset, alarmed. exhausted, sad, frightened, stunned.
The room now looked fine, I was no longer "tripping," but still altered. I
kept saying to my wife. 'I'm fine, now, but I just had an unbelievable
experience. I do not know what to say."
This report provides an excellent description of how frighteningly shocking
and unpredictable a salvinorin journey can be. It also shows another variation of the bizarre physical dimensions encountered on this substance, and hints at some of the possible dangers that can arise through its use. The next report describes
a quite different journey with highly positive results.